Vietnam youth rent partners to meet parental expectations, applicants must be fit, good cooks

Rental contracts typically include stringent terms, such as prohibiting emotional involvement, banning sexual harassment

Many young people of marriageable age are increasingly opting to marry later in life, driven by career aspirations or the challenges of finding the right partner.

In Vietnam, dozens of social media groups have emerged, offering paid partner services. A forum administrator with over 20,000 members has noted a recent surge in women renting boyfriends to appease their parents.

Minh Thu, a 30-year-old from Nam Dinh province in northern Vietnam, has not dated in five years due to her demanding job. Her parents informed her that she could only return home for the Lunar New Year if she had a boyfriend, expressing their desire for grandchildren and even pretending to be ill to heighten the pressure on her.

Earlier this year, Thu spent a few million Vietnamese dong (a few hundred US dollars) to hire a man, five years her senior, to pose as her boyfriend, as reported by the Vietnamese media outlet VnExpress.

They exchanged family backgrounds and established an “emotional connection” a week in advance.

The man, a construction engineer, is skilled in cooking and knowledgeable about wine tasting.

Thu shared: “On the day he came to my house, he helped my mum cook and chatted with my relatives. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen my parents so happy and proud of me.”

Similarly, Khanh Ngoc, 33, who has never been in a relationship, rented a handsome boyfriend who is four years younger than her.

She recounted to VnExpress that after renting a place to escape family pressures regarding marriage for a year, the “rented boyfriend” made a memorable impression on her parents during his first visit.

“Since then, my relationship with my parents has improved,” Ngoc added.

Huy Tuan, a 25-year-old from Hanoi, has been acting as a “fake boyfriend” for various clients for over a year.

He explained: “I have to go to the gym, learn to sing, cook, take photos, and work on my conversation skills to meet the expectations of many clients.”

To ensure quality, Tuan limits himself to three to four clients per month. A coffee date or shopping outing costs a few hundred thousand Vietnamese dong (US$10-$20) for a two-hour session, while a family meeting is around 1 million Vietnamese dong (US$40).

Rental contracts typically include strict terms, such as prohibiting emotional involvement and banning sexual harassment.

Experts caution that renting a partner carries inherent risks.

Nguyen Thanh Nga, a researcher at the Academy of Journalism and Communication in Vietnam, stated: “If exposed, families could experience significant emotional damage and lose trust. Additionally, renting a partner is not legally protected in Vietnam, so women should be especially cautious.”

The trend of renting partners has garnered widespread attention on social media.

One online observer remarked: “Marrying without a successful career just leads to a lot of problems. Renting a partner is a win-win – it makes your parents happy and alleviates pressure on you.”

Conversely, another commenter expressed concern: “I can’t imagine how heartbreaking it would be for parents to find out it was a lie.”

This practice is not unique to Vietnam; it is also prevalent in China, where marriage rates are declining.

In the first half of this year, only 3.43 million people registered for marriage, the lowest figure in a decade.

Many young Chinese individuals rent partners during major festivals, such as the Mid-Autumn Festival and Lunar New Year, with costs typically around 1,000 yuan (US$140) per day.

By Zoey Zhang – The South China Morning Post – December 1st, 2024